Rearview Mirror Read online

  “Well, now that Erik has embarrassed himself for the morning, let’s talk breakfast. I was trying to figure out what to make, and I have no ideas.” Jill looked at everyone gathered at the island.

  “I have an idea if that’s okay,” Amber said.

  “Hey, if you want to cook for us, I won’t be the one stopping you,” Jill said.

  “Okay.” Amber looked in a couple of spots and found the ingredients she needed. “You all can go sit in the living room and I’ll make breakfast.”

  “I’ll stay and help,” Nicole said.

  “I’m grabbing a coffee then. The hell if I’m leaving a full pot of coffee in here with Nicole,” Heather said, and the others nodded and lined up to get their coffee.

  “I’m not that bad.” Nicole pretended to be offended.

  “Well, I wouldn’t trust Amber with a full coffeepot, either.” Zach received a raised eyebrow from Amber. “What? You’re the one that has your own coffeemaker at your painting station. And might I add, you rarely share.”

  “Get out of here before I decide not to share breakfast with you, either, smartass.” Amber pushed Zach toward the door. “Nic, you can go sit with the others, it shouldn’t take too long.”

  “I’ve missed cooking with you. The last time we cooked together was for your birthday.”

  “I don’t recall us getting a lot of cooking done that morning.” Amber blushed.

  “Well, eventually, we did…after we celebrated the morning of your birth. I’ve missed you, and I want to spend some time with you before you leave,” Nicole admitted.

  “Well then, my little helper, I need a bowl and a frying pan.”

  “Really? Little helper?”

  “Well, I didn’t think you’d appreciate being called my little fairy or pixie.” Amber laughed, receiving a friendly glare from Nicole.

  “I’ll get you back at some point, Knight. You just wait! I promise you that.” Nicole gestured with the frying pan.

  “Sure, you will,” Amber mocked as she took the pan.

  The two went about making pancakes, eggs, and toast for the group. Once they had the breakfast made, Amber and Nicole set the table, and then called the others to eat.

  “Jackpot,” Zach said, smiling at Amber and Nicole.

  “Wait, Amber pancakes…right?” Heather said.

  “Yep,” Amber said.

  “Score!”

  “I’m going to agree with both of them,” Jill said.

  Erik had just sat and started to fill his plate when he realized it was extremely quiet. He looked up and saw everyone staring at him.

  “What? I do remember what Amber’s food tastes like. I’m not going to waste time asking questions or talking when I can be putting the goodness into my belly,” Erik said.

  “You’re a very smart man.” Zach sat and started to fill his plate, as well, then passed the food to Heather.

  “Nic, sit down and eat,” Amber said.

  “Aren’t you going to eat?” Nicole asked, sitting at the table.

  “I, er, um,” Amber stammered.

  “You, er, um, what?”

  “I’m going to get the rest of the pancakes.” Amber bolted out of the room.

  “I’ll be right back.” Nicole rose and followed Amber into the kitchen.

  When Amber got into the kitchen, she went over by the sink and turned the water on to wash the dishes. She hadn’t heard Nicole come in and was surprised when she wrapped her arms around her waist from behind and rested her chin on Amber’s shoulder.

  “Wanna tell me what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?” Nicole asked.

  “It’s nothing, really. Just my messed-up mind.” Amber didn’t turn to face her.

  “Are you too upset to eat?”

  Amber shook her head.

  “Are you still upset about the nightmare?”

  Again, she received a head shake.

  “Talk to me, Amber. Let me help.”

  “I’m nervous about my mom’s letter.” Amber looked down at the dishes in the sink.

  “Hey, how about just you and I go to Old Miller’s Pond? The tree we used to cuddle under is still there. We can go there, and you can read it and I’ll be there for support.”

  “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course,” Nicole said. “Now please, come eat something.”

  “Just a little, though,” Amber said.

  The two exited the kitchen and joined the others. Amber ate a couple of pieces of toast, hoping to calm her stomach. After they ate, Amber pulled Zach aside and told him about her plans with Nicole. She felt bad leaving him after he came all the way there to help her. He assured her it was fine and that Heather and Jill had offered to let him hang out with them. He also said she looked happy when she was with Nicole, and it was nice to see. That helped ease some of Amber’s tensions.

  Amber showered and got dressed. Nicole did the same, and they headed off to the pond.

  Zach finished getting ready. He decided he was going to spend the day with Heather since she had some interesting insight into Amber and seemed more willing to share. Jill wasn’t as forthcoming. He wanted to know more about his best friend.

  “Ready to head back to the hotel for a while?” Heather asked.

  “I’m all set.” Zach grabbed his and Amber’s things.

  They took Heather’s car back to the hotel, and when they got there, Sidney was working at the front desk. She smiled at the two as they walked past her.

  “Hey, Sid! How has the morning been so far?” Heather asked.

  “Slow, honestly.”

  “Well, Sidney, this is Amber’s friend from New York, Zach. Zach, this is my assistant manager, Sidney.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Zach said.

  “You too.”

  “I hear you were hitting on Amber last night.” Heather giggled.

  “You could have clued me in about her and Nicole.” Sidney smiled.

  “I had no idea that Nicole was still going to be so territorial. I mean, it’s been years since they’ve seen each other.”

  “I can understand the attraction, though.” Zach laughed.

  “Hey, I’m not the one that had a crush on her first.” Sidney laughed as she pointed toward Heather.

  “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” Heather blushed.

  “Seriously? You?” Zach asked.

  “Well, have you seen her? Hello!”

  “Oh, I know. I’ve had to fend people off her for years. Men and women going after her.”

  “I believe that. I think we’re going to have to save those stories for when I can watch Amber blush,” Heather said.

  They finished their conversation with Sidney and went back into Heather’s office.

  After a short walk, Nicole and Amber arrived at the pond and sat under their favorite tree.

  “It’s still so pretty here,” Amber said.

  “Yeah, it’s like time stood still.”

  “Do you come out here often?”

  “After you first left, I did. It was a place that made me feel like I was closer to you. Over the years, it started to frustrate me and make me miss you more, so I haven’t been here in a couple of years.”

  “I’m so sorry I hurt you,” Amber said, looking into Nicole’s eyes.

  “I understand why you did what you did.” Nicole put her hand on Amber’s, feeling their fingers thread together as they always had before.

  “It doesn’t excuse what I did.”

  “I know, but we don’t have to talk about that stuff now. I would rather enjoy the time together.” Nicole smiled at her.

  “I’d like that.”

  Nicole and Amber walked out onto the pier and sat at the end of it, and Amber gazed over the water remembering earlier times.

  “Last one in has to buy the pizza tonight,” Jill called as they changed into their swimsuits.

  As Amber ripped her T-shirt and shorts off, she ran down the pier and dove into the pond as Nicole gawked at the
sleek black one-piece Amber was wearing.

  “Nic, you keep drooling, and you’re going to be the last one in,” Jill said as she ran past.

  Nicole quickly disrobed and ran past Erik, who was trying to get his pants off without his shorts coming down.

  Nicole dove into the water and came up next to Amber.

  “Hey, sexy,” Amber said as she pulled her closer.

  “Hey, yourself.” Nicole leaned in and kissed her softly.

  “Woohoo, girl-on-girl action,” Erik called as he finally made it to the end of the pier.

  “Erik, don’t be a pig,” Jill said.

  “Fine, but you need to stop taunting me.” He pouted.

  “Erik, we’re seventeen and in love, cut us some slack.” Amber kissed Nicole again before releasing her.

  The group played Marco Polo for a while and swam before they got tired of it and decided to lay out in the sun to dry off. Nicole and Amber put their towels next to each other while Jill and Erik put theirs across from them.

  “So, what do you guys want to do tonight?” Amber asked.

  “Well, it’s the Fourth of July, so we could go up on top of the hill and watch the fireworks,” Nicole suggested.

  “I see fireworks every time you kiss me.” Amber leaned over and kissed Nicole quickly.

  “That was really cheesy, Amber. I expect something like that from Erik, not you.”

  “Hey,” Erik said.

  “Sorry. I know one thing for tonight, Erik is going to provide dinner.” Jill laughed.

  “I think you all cheated since two out of the three of you are in bikinis!”

  “We did not.” Nicole smiled at how good Amber looked in her suit.

  Later that night, the group went to the top of the nearby hill, ate pizza, and watched the fireworks. Nicole and Amber were cuddled together and felt as though they didn’t have a care in the world.

  “What are you thinking about?” Nicole noticed a distant smile on Amber’s face.

  “That last Fourth of July when we were all here together and then we went up the hill to watch the fireworks. We were so happy. How can things go from so right to so wrong so quickly?”

  “I don’t know, they just do.”

  “It wasn’t fair.” Amber got up from the edge of the pier and walked toward the tree, their tree.

  “Do you want to talk for a while or read your mom’s letter?” Nicole asked, following Amber.

  “Will you stay close while I read it?” Amber asked nervously.

  “Of course I will.” Nicole leaned against the tree and then motioned for Amber to sit between her legs. Once Amber was comfortable, Nicole wrapped her arms around Amber’s waist and rested her head on Amber’s shoulder. “Is this okay?”

  “Perfect,” Amber said. “You can read along if you want.”

  “No, this is your letter to read. If you want to share it afterward, then I’ll be honored to read it.”

  Amber sat back, opened the envelope, took a deep breath, and read.

  To my beautiful precious daughter,

  I want you to know that I have loved you since the day I first felt I was pregnant with you. I wish I could have protected you better and saved you from all the pain you had to endure. I wasn’t strong enough. It took me losing you to really see how bad things were. To admit honestly how bad things were. I have missed you so much over the years, baby girl. I have some things I want to say. I wish I could have done this in person, but I respect you and the reasoning for distancing yourself from us and this place.

  Most important, and first and foremost, I love you! I always have, and I always will. I knew for weeks before I got it confirmed from the doctor that I was pregnant with you. I knew you were a girl, and I was so excited. You have to know that you were, are, and will always be the best thing that came out of my life with that man. You have grown into such a beautiful woman. I know this is true because of the beautiful woman you were when you left.

  Since you’re reading this, that means you came back. I’m hoping that Nicole is with you while you’re reading this. She has been such an amazing help to me over the past few years. She helped me survive after you left, and she has helped me while I’ve been sick. Oh, my darling, you were right when you told me that she was an angel put on earth. I wish for you both to find happiness, and I’m secretly hoping that you will somehow find your way back to each other and find the happiness together.

  Amber, I love you so much and I will be watching over you always. Please know that loving someone doesn’t have to be a bad experience, you just have to make sure you don’t compromise yourself. I’m getting really tired. I don’t have the strength and stamina to do a lot now. I think what I really want you to know is that I love you and admire you for being able to leave and not come back.

  I love you with all my heart and soul.

  Mama

  As Amber finished the letter, tears were streaming down her face. Nicole had pulled her tighter to her body.

  “Oh, Mama, I love you, too,” Amber cried. “I’ve missed you so much!”

  They sat there while Amber grieved for the loss of her mother, for the loss of so much.

  “She talked about you often.” Nicole placed a kiss on the side of Amber’s head. “When she was going through the cancer treatments, she would hallucinate and apologize to you over and over. It broke my heart to hear her. I don’t know what she said in the letter, but you have to believe that you were the most precious piece of her life.”

  “Thank you for taking care of her and for loving her.”

  “It was my pleasure. It allowed me to hold on to you for a while longer. I never stopped loving you or missing you,” Nicole admitted.

  “I love you, too.” Amber turned her head and pressed her lips to Nicole’s. She had caught Nicole by surprise, but it only took a heartbeat for Nicole to respond to the kiss.

  The kiss was slow, passion-filled, and quickly took their breath away. Amber turned her body slightly and threaded her hand into the back of Nicole’s hair. A groan from Nicole told Amber that Nicole was feeling this just as deeply as she was. As they broke the kiss, Nicole leaned her forehead against Amber’s.

  “Wow, that was…amazing,” Nicole said.

  “I agree.” Amber smiled at Nicole and then leaned forward and kissed her again.

  They sat there, Nicole holding Amber, gently placing kisses into her hair. They were enjoying the feeling of being close, of being someplace that had so many memories for them. Amber was still processing all that her mother’s letter had to say.

  “Nic,” Amber said, breaking the silence.

  “Mm-hmm?”

  “Do you want to read the letter?”

  “That’s your letter. Your mom wrote that for you.”

  “I know, and now I’m asking if you, someone deeply important to both of us, would like to read it.” Amber turned in Nicole’s arms so she could look at her.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’ve been sitting here thinking about the letter, all that you said happened. I think it’s fitting that you read it. You’re the only person I would feel right sharing it with.”

  “I…erm…I would like to if you’re sure.”

  “Okay, but you have to switch spots with me, so I can hold you while you read it. I know it’s going to have as much and maybe more meaning at times for you than it did for me.”

  Nicole nodded, and they traded spots. Amber leaned against the tree, and Nicole leaned against Amber. Nicole felt Amber wrap her arms around her waist and pull her close. When they were finally situated, Nicole opened the letter and read the words of the woman she loved as her own mother. A woman who had brought into the world the most important and cherished person Nicole could ever know. Tears rolled down her face as she neared the end. When she finished, she folded the letter and handed it to Amber. Nicole curled into a ball in Amber’s arms, and they cried together.

  As the sun had moved in the sky, they knew it was now well after noon, and they neede
d to get back to the hotel. Nicole stood and reached down to help Amber up. Amber wrapped her arms around Nicole’s waist and felt Nicole wrap her arms around Amber’s neck. Amber leaned forward and kissed her. The kiss was gentle, conveying love, but not demanding.

  “We should get back,” Amber said as they broke the kiss.

  “Thank you for coming here today with me and for sharing your letter with me. I know it’s deeply personal.”

  “Thank you for sitting with me, holding me, and just being here for support.”

  Nicole took Amber’s hand, and the two left Old Miller’s Pond to go back to the hotel. They walked in silence, both processing the letter, the kisses, just being together, and what they wanted for the future.

  Heather and Zach were sitting in her office. Heather was going through some paperwork, and Zach was on his tablet looking at various items from work.

  “So, you’ve known Amber since she moved to New York?” Heather broke the silence.

  “Pretty much. I met her after she had been in town for a couple of weeks.”

  “How’d you meet her?”

  “I had just started at the gallery, and she was looking at one of the paintings I had replicated and, well, how did you put it…‘have you seen her?’ I went over to talk to her. I asked if she liked the artist, and she said she wouldn’t know because this was a fake. I started to laugh and told her I knew because I was the one that had painted it. She looked at me like I had kicked her kitten or something. She was horrified. I explained how we get permission to duplicate the art. She then told me it was a good replica. I told her it couldn’t have been too good if she could tell it was a fake. She showed me where my flaw was. It was a simple brushstroke that I had done wrong. The curator, Lucinda, overheard us talking and asked Amber if she could paint as well as she could assess paintings. When Amber said she could, Lucinda offered her a job on the spot.”

  “Seriously? Only Amber could be at an art gallery and get hit on and a job all in one afternoon.” Heather laughed. After thinking about it for a moment, Zach joined in the laughter.

  Sidney knocked on the door. Hearing the laughter, she peeked her head in.